During my plant medicine journey, I was the recipient of four Key Ideas. During the time that each was given to me, I felt as if the full radiance of the idea was enveloping me and I was struck deeply by the truth of these messages and their immense importance to me. In my journey writeup, I wrote the following:
The first sensation was of little bursts of light energy emanating out of me and going off to various points and people and places. And with every one, the word “Bless” was understood. Bless, bless, bless, bless. And I felt like “Yes! I can bless everyone and everything I come in contact with.” It was really lovely and powerful.
I felt like this was kind of a calling being given to me. I didn't know exactly how I would bless others, but I felt strongly that my presence and love could be something appreciated and needed by others, and what a joy it would be to have that effect on people.
Fast forward a while. In the late fall/early winter, some of the shine had rubbed off on my post-journeyed self and I was worried that I had settled back in to the doldrums of my default mode network. Maybe it was for naught. Maybe it was just a lovely experience but not something sustainable. I felt discouraged. I went to a holiday party with quite a few people I didn't know and it was hard for me. I felt out of place and like I didn't belong. I saw David laughing and having a good time, and I felt forgotten and left behind.
Not too long after that David and some friends started making plans for a trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. At first I thought it was just going to be us and these two friends and their wives, but the trip grew and ended up including more people. I had a lot of anxiety about it. imagining that feeling of being left out and on the outside of the group, and just feeling awkward and miserable. The New Orleans trip ended up being (overall) wonderful, fun, and delightful in spite of a few negatives. But the absolute highlight of Mardi Gras for me was standing on a balcony on Bourbon Street and throwing beads to passers-by below. There was something magical about watching the crowds walk by. Many were with friends and laughing as they walked, not even glancing up as they were so involved with their friends and the revelry of the evening. But occasionally someone would look up and see me on the balcony. Our eyes would connect, and they'd see that I held beads in my hand. They'd raise their eyebrows in a questioning way, or maybe lift a hand a little bit to see how I would respond to their unstated request for beads. I'd smile and nod, and get ready for the toss. I'd let go of the beads, and more often than not they caught them, and we both did a triumphant fists to the sky hooray, beaming with smiles. This situation was repeated time after time. My very favorite connections were with people who were just walking down Bourbon Street alone, no beads, no Mardi Gras colors on. Who knows if they were just cutting through on their way somewhere, or if they wanted to experience a little of the festivities even if they had to do it solo. Connecting with them and bringing them a bit of joy fed my soul in a way I'd never experienced before. It was truly magical.
On the actual Fat Tuesday day of celebration, people were wearing their most elaborate and amazing costumes. I really wanted to document some of them to remember, but even more I wanted to express admiration and appreciation to these lovely people, so I gave myself a mission to go up and talk to people, tell them I loved their costumes, and ask if I could take a picture of them, and some I asked to take pictures with them. There is something soul-filling about being in a place where the whole point is joyful festivity. I hadn't ever experienced anything like Mardi Gras before. Magical.
A few months later David reached out to his friend again and asked him what their summer plans were, and they mentioned a music festival. David said that sounded fun and we got ourselves invited along. I didn't know until right before the festival that it was an EDM festival, in the middle of nowhere, and that we'd be staying in an RV with two other couples. I was not super excited about any of that, but determined to give it a try and to try and enjoy it, or at the very least be open to it.
Our friend let us know that people often exchange little gifts such as handmade beaded bracelets or other small things like that here, so we spent some time making some before we left. We didn't honestly hand out all that many of them, but i did have a few magical connections. with strangers, and it was really lovely to be able to give them a small gift as a memento of our connection. This experience felt like a soul expansion for me. I experienced a version of myself with my heart wide open and saw the beauty in everyone around me. The wide variety of people at the festival was stunning. I loved seeing the older people there, enjoying the music and unconcerned about the decades that separated them from most of the others in attendance.
For the twins' birthday we went to Evermore, and based on a tiny plastic duck I'd found on the ground at the music festival, I had decided to order a pack of 200 tiny plastic ducks to have to hand out to people. We took our porch goose in its pumpkin costume and handed out little mini duckies to other guests and also employees. So many were so delighted. What fun to help people feel seen and to give them a little token that brings such joy.
This past week we went to an outdoor concert with friends and I decided to take the mini ducks again. It was so joyful to look at people in the crowds and see who looked like they might need a duck or whose energy/presence "earned" them a duck. I saw two lovely women who would normally be a little intimidating for me to approach (there is a level of put together/"done up" that I just feel like I can't relate to very well, probably because of a sense of inferiority/worry about judgement) but they were just sitting on the ground together and I felt like they might appreciate the tiny ducks. The way their faces lit up in delight and surprise really opened my heart towards them, and I saw them as fellow travelers on this spacerock and not as women who spend too much time on their appearance or any other judgey thing I could have thought. And the guy just hanging out by himself, his smile was incredible. Once it was dark, I got out some glow bracelets we had at home and handed those out. More fun! I saw a pretty solid and big guy who kind of reminded me of a comic book superhero, which I mentioned to David. He said, "You gotta tell him!" so I did. His face broke out in the biggest smile and he came over a couple times and talked more to us. One time he told us we increased his "game" by like 150% because he felt so good about himself.
I told David that giving people things was my way of connecting, and he agreed that its a great one and so fun. And on the drive home it occurred to me. BLESS. Whoa! I was feeling the love and the bliss of connecting with others. These little trinkets were the vehicle that allowed me to give a little blessing to these individuals lives, but the real blessing was being seen. Isn't that all any of us really wants? We long so desperately to be seen by those closest to us, but sometimes it seems like they are the ones who have the most obstacles in the way of clear seeing. So a brief encounter with a stranger can on occasion remind us that we are seen. We are known.
I have been getting involved with some online and in person groups dedicated to studying the teachings of spiritual leaders and building community.I have had chances to see people and to feel seen as well. To open up about topics that you wouldn't normally tackle with people you've only known for a timespan measured in minutes. To share ideas and heartaches and struggles and successes. To see each other as souls. To truly feel like "we are all just walking each other home." (Ram Dass) I am honestly excited to be on this path and really excited to see what ways will show up for me to bless those in my path in the future. It has been so richly filling for me as well. Love edifies and blesses all who partake.
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